


Stand Vigilant

by theSarcasticWench



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alistair (Dragon Age) is a Good Friend, Gen, Grey Warden Secrets, Grey Wardens, Post-Blight, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Pre-Series One Shot, The Calling (Dragon Age), Warden Amell (Dragon Age), Warden Commander Amell - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theSarcasticWench/pseuds/theSarcasticWench
Summary: The Song.A part of her had even expected to hear the song of her Calling early, too.But when the realisation struck - that what Solona had been hearing wasthat- all she could think was;‘I'm not ready.’
Kudos: 3





	Stand Vigilant

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all!
> 
> First time posting in the Dragon Age fandom, long time fan, player and reader! Lock down has had me replaying the trilogy, and I've always loved the Warden and wondered what the events of DA:I would have been like if the Warden had been involved, and this developed.
> 
> This is unbeta'd, so please forgive any mistakes, I hope you enjoy, and thanks so much for reading!

The first morning that Solona Amell awoke with whispers in her ears, she had brushed it off as a lingering dream.

The third morning she'd awoken, the whispers lingered longer, and she'd spent the morning uneasily pondering; _if not remnants of a dream, what could it be_...

When two weeks had passed with the whispers growing gradually louder ( _clearer_ ), flowing together fluidly, and staying with her longer into the day, Solona felt a heavy despair settle in her gut. 

_A song_.

**_The_ ** _Song_.

The life of a Warden was short - something they all knew and accepted when they Joined - and Solona was honestly surprised that she'd lived this long already. 

She genuinely hadn't expected to survive the Blight, let alone slaying the Archdemon - _the first Warden in living memory to have done so_ \- and she'd always felt there would be a hidden catch. A price for her survival - _an ever present nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she hadn't paid a high enough price for her life yet._

A part of her had even expected to hear the song of her Calling early, too.

( _An image of Alistair's defiant pout - deadly serious, yet still able to bring a smile and laugh to her face despite the gravity of her concerns - came to mind unbidden. A promise that when that day came, they'd walk that road together)._

But when the realisation struck - that what Solona had been hearing was _that_ \- all she could think was; 

‘ _I'm not ready_.’

\---

Solona wanted to scream, to fight against the injustice of it - hadn't she had enough _shit_ piled on her in this lifetime, hadn't she _earned_ a few years of peace before she went? Why now, when some unknown was rising to power - something she could _feel in her bones_ , despite having no concrete evidence aside from a gut feeling she and Alistair shared. Why now, when she'd _finally_ begun to make headway in her search for a cure?

How she _longed_ to refuse the Song taunting her, viciously trying to lure her into the depths of the Deep Roads to her end already. 

( _In all her reading on the Calling, she'd never found an account that described the Song hitting this quickly, and how soon it became difficult to resist. Part of her wondered if this was a symptom particular to her, or if the old Wardens had downplayed their accounts)._

Instead of that - of screaming, crying, raging, _giving in_ \- Solona kept her head up, and began the subtle process of getting her affairs in order.

Ever the dutiful Warden, her first step was leaving instructions on her successor ( _it could be none other than Nathaniel Howe, ever her loyal right hand_ ) and the duties his new role would now entail - some of which he'd already been taking care of for years. She'd been grooming him for command for some time now, much to his dismay. 

‘ _I_ am _sorry to dump all this on you, my friend, but there is no one I would trust more with the command of my Wardens, and the watch for the next Blight, than you_ ,’ Solona had written in her letter, dropping the guise of the Warden Commander to farewell one of her longest companions. 

She had faith in him - in all of them - to continue their duty long after she had fallen. 

Her second step was surprisingly easy; an excuse for her absence without revealing the true reason behind it.

Once, before the Blight and before the slaughter of Feralden’s Wardens, a Calling would've been announced grimly, their Commander detailing the Warden’s accomplishments and some details of their life. The Warden was feasted, farewelled and thanked in the warmest manner by their comrades. And then, finally, they would be escorted to Orzammar by their closest companions, where the Dwarves would similarly feast them before leading them to the Deep Roads with a guard of honour, and the Warden would never be heard from again; dutifully falling in battle against the Darkspawn.

( _Or so Alistair had told her. Duncan never really got a chance to explain what happened at the end of a Warden’s life - Maker, he'd barely been able to explain the beginning_ ).

Now, though...

Now, she'd be the first Ferelden Warden in over a decade to go to their Calling. A part of her wanted the chance to say goodbye, to thank her many companions from over the years, and tell her Wardens how proud she was of them, and how much she’d cherished them.

But there was a bigger part - the same part that still flinched when she was addressed as the Hero of Ferelden, or as Arlessa of Amaranthine - that just wanted to slip away quietly, with no fuss.

So that was what she'd do.

It was easy enough to plan her departure. Nathaniel and Seneschal Garevel barely questioned her sudden need to travel for her research, likely due to the increasing number of trips abroad she'd undertaken over the last few years. The hardest part had been telling them she would travel alone - rather than with a small band of Wardens, picked because they could benefit from her tutelage - and convincing them that her mind would not be swayed. 

Neither man had been overly happy with her following that conversation, but they would forgive her eventually. _Or maybe not,_ she'd thought darkly, almost angrily. _Soon, it won't matter_.

The third task was by far the hardest.

Saying goodbye.

There was so much she wanted to say to her friends and to the loyal band of Wardens she'd gathered and served with over the years. Words of gratitude, of pride, of fondness and love.

So she wrote.

For days, wherever she had a free moment from her still-present duties, Solona wrote letter after letter. Some were short and to the point - _the recipients wouldn't want a drawn out farewell (Oghren, Sten, Sigrun, to name a few)_ \- while others were pages long and took her several days to get through - _she struggled writing these, knowing that a letter would never be enough, but it was the best she had to offer._

Alistair would be furious with her. Lelianna, Morrigan and Zev would be too, though they might understand her reasoning better than others - _they would remember the shy former Circle Mage from the early days of the Blight, still finding her footing as a Warden and as a Mage suddenly freed of the Circle she’d called home for most of her life_. 

But Alistair…

He was the one person she should tell the truth to, in person. More than her subordinates ( _her friends_ ), and more than her Blight travelling companions ( _her family_ ).

He was her brother, in all the ways that mattered, and understood her in ways that the others couldn't. 

The only two Wardens alive after the massacre at Ostagar, both of them still green and unsure of how to proceed, they'd bonded in a way that Solona could never bond with their other companions, or with other Wardens in later years.

No one else could understand what it felt like to be a Warden during a Blight - to have the Song of the Archdemon ever present in your dreams and thoughts, to have that burning sense of it with you always with no way to shut it out, or the faint longing to give in and join your fallen brethren, longing forced upon you by the feeling of dread the Archdemon oozed. Not like Alistair could. Even now, over a decade later, Solona could recall the dreams and accompanying feelings vividly - _and the whispered conversations beside the fire when they were both too unsettled to sleep._

_I’d rather slay another Archdemon than say goodbye to my brother_ , Solona thought wryly as she finished saddling her horse. 

It was the one goodbye she couldn't write.

She'd tried - _tears blurring her vision, hands shaking, sobs choking her_ \- and failed.

So, she'd decided forlornly, her first stop would be Denerim. Maybe, if she was lucky, Alistair wouldn't be there - _hah, not likely_ . Maybe she could convince him to stay, not to follow her into the Deep Roads - _she'd probably have a better chance of teaching Dog to bathe himself_.

_Maker, I'm fooling myself_ , Solona sighed heavily, tugging the hood of her cloak over her head before mounting her horse. She turned slightly, taking one last look at the Keep - the battered, _scarred_ walls of her home for the last ten years illuminated by the rising sun. She felt a ball of grief forming in her throat, tears pricking in her eyes, as she regarded the Keep for the last time.

**_Come..._ **

**Come.**

**_Come_** **_join…_**

**Join.**

Solona jolted out of her reverie sharply, her magic flaring in her veins as she fought the pull of the Song. 

_Not yet_ , she thought grimly, _I'm not done yet_.

With that resolve burning brightly, she nudged her horse to a brisk trot, eager to make Denerim by nightfall.

**Author's Note:**

> I left this a little open ended because I may add a second chapter to this yet, but for now I'm working on something based in the Inquisition timeline.
> 
> Thanks again for reading, any feedback is very much appreciated,  
> -theSarcasticWench


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